The Blogosphere is My Oyster

It turns out that we all have something to say. We always did, but it has always been difficult to get everyone's attention. Letters to congressmen, phone campaigns, copy machines... All are puny tools for the powerless. How could we ever get anywhere with these useless, pedestrian modalities?

Then along came the miracle of "desktop publishing," which gave us the ability to emphasize the importance of everything with italics, multiple fonts, and fabulous color combinations. We could run off a hundred copies of all the news that's fit to print, with color graphics and a bannerhead in 48 pt Times New Roman, and mail it out to everyone in the church congregation. First the church, then the world. Time Magazine, look out!

Then we were empowered by PowerPoint. Suddenly, it didn't matter that we never got around to that Toastmasters membership, or that we continued to have problems with eye contact. Now we had slides! Good slides guaranteed that we could get our points across with nary a met gaze. And all of the arguments were solidly supported by embedded spreadsheets and tri-color bar charts. We made our points in the dark, and our emphasis with a laser pointer. Didn't hear my talk? I'll print you out a copy of my slides. First the promotion to group manager, then on to riches and national prominence as a motivational speaker. Lookout, Deepak Chopra!

But all this pales in comparison to the developments of 2004, when we discovered blogs. If you don't know, a blog is an online journal, which anyone can create. You can let the whole world read it, if you and the world are so inclined. You can even provide an automatic alert to your readers when you add something.

Compared to blogs, those other ways of trumpeting our message seem so ... well, so 20th century. Now it's just me and my laptop, sitting at a Starbucks, tapping at the keys and changing the world! I couldn't print more than a few hundred copies of my tabloid before my printer broke down, and of course the audience for my PowerPoint presentation had to fit into one room. But, oh baby, look at me now! I'm a world critic in undershorts!

I might be struck by an invaluable insight anytime, anywhere. Why should the world be deprived of it any longer than necessary? In minutes, it can be buzzing around the blogosphere, titillating and enlightening the minions.

And, you know, we -- the Bloggerati -- have influence without precedent. We blow the whistle on corporate scandals in our sandals. We pressure presidents from our residences. We whisper hot tips and watch the results on stock market tickers.

So please come to hear my 20-slide PowerPoint presentation this Sunday at the Unitarian Church, entitled, "Why YOU Should Read My Blog." Alternatively, press the Amazon button at the bottom of the page and purchase my self-published pamphlet.

Power to the People.

T.I.N.